It feels as though my life, over the past few months, has been thrown on a spinning art machine. Going round & round. Vibrant colors being thrown at it. Splattering all around. Spinning. More splattering. And then a sudden stop. A new creation - that looks something like I envisioned but so different it takes me back.
Here I am. Here we are.
Husband has begun his new path. It has been four days since he cut the strings to the stress bomb, already I see a release in his shoulders. The smile in his eyes that had been cloudy for so long. Exhausted. Drained. This change/move felt right to him/for him. For us. I feel confident in where this can go. I know that he will do better then succeed. That is not to say that there will not be stress, distance, travel and hard work. That has been our life for so long that this new easy street feels strange and too good.
I have to trick my brain into understanding it.
I have to trick my heart into not melting. Cracking.
Number 1 has started going to school. And as much as I was chasing it, wanting it for him, doing everything I could to get him where we thought he would thrive - I was not ready. Am still not ready. It feels like suddenly I am somewhere I did not think I had to be yet. There are still days together at home. And there are days for him with friends.
In 3 days he has changed. Still a little shy. Full of stories for me. Big actions.
It fills my heart.
Here I am. Here we are.
Husband has begun his new path. It has been four days since he cut the strings to the stress bomb, already I see a release in his shoulders. The smile in his eyes that had been cloudy for so long. Exhausted. Drained. This change/move felt right to him/for him. For us. I feel confident in where this can go. I know that he will do better then succeed. That is not to say that there will not be stress, distance, travel and hard work. That has been our life for so long that this new easy street feels strange and too good.
I have to trick my brain into understanding it.
I have to trick my heart into not melting. Cracking.
Number 1 has started going to school. And as much as I was chasing it, wanting it for him, doing everything I could to get him where we thought he would thrive - I was not ready. Am still not ready. It feels like suddenly I am somewhere I did not think I had to be yet. There are still days together at home. And there are days for him with friends.
In 3 days he has changed. Still a little shy. Full of stories for me. Big actions.
It fills my heart.
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