After weeks of serious conversations, months of wakens, and hours of love & tears last night J and I gave in and began "sleep training". This topic, the one of training my son to sleep, is one that I am deeply conflicted on. There are a handful of theories or methods that float around the new parent community, some I see the value in - others make my skin crawl. We took what we felt comfortable with & created our own.The act of working with P I had to pass off, I passed off any responsibility like I would pass the gravy at Christmas. Not because I am high and mighty, not because I want to inflict pain upon my husband. But because I know/knew I can't do it. I will cave in. I will ruin everything that J & P had worked so hard for. I know myself well enough to know that I can't handle crying and not cuddling. Not with Jue or friends, not anyone. I know there is no way I can handle withdrawing from P. I would be in worst shape & then J would have to take care of both of us.
Like any good, supportive wife I went to sleep, with earplugs in. I woke up at 1am, J was just getting to sleep as it took a hour to get P back to sleep after his first wake up. I woke up at 4am, as my boobs were ready to burst, and with child intuition so did P. His cries were weak and light, I knew his eyes were not open, that he was still tucked in with his CM in hand. I knew he could handle it without me. And after 3 two minute episodes he did. At 6am he awoke again, this time I knew was different, he was up and hungry. As I walked across the hall, opened the door and turned on his lamp I felt so proud of him. Of J for stepping up and taking the challenge. Of all of us.
P was laying on his back cry/talking. There were no tears on his cheeks. Just an excited over joyed babe, happy to see milk but even happier to see me.
2 comments:
I'm proud of all of you. Making this decision is so difficult - I know. You have to do what your comfortable with and what works for you. Keep with it. A well rested mommy is a good thing.
How proud i am of all three of you (or really four, because I am sure that the Boolie had to endure her fair share of cries. unless she was fast asleep in her big girl bed)!
Big hugs and kisses all around. Tell J he gets an extra Senseo, and I MAY put off kicking his butt at Wii next time I see him, just because. You get an extra Senseo too, but only the decaf kind. P just gets lots and lots of hugs. And a big wave hello.
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