hostage

There is no denying my recent ,  12 month and counting recent, dislike of the current temperature conditions within this city. Yesterday March 6  I awoke to an inch of snow on the ground. States, Cities & Towns notorious for their blustery conditions are warmer then here.

My entire life I have been raised as a West Coast Girl. I get the rain. The unswimmable beaches.  The rain. The lack of real winter. The rain. That is here. Which is why I feel as though I don't belong here anymore. It is the bitter cold that gets into my bones, the moist wind that takes every once of warmth out of the sun, that is weighing in. It is little people so eager to play outside but who are unable to after 20 minutes. Emerging back at the door with beating red fingers and mud covered pants.

I love this region when it is summer. It actually makes my heart melt a little with how naturally beautiful it is . But I can't justify 30 days of that for 335 days of this. I can visit for 30 days but living here the rest of the time has admittedly taken away my spirit and my brain's ability to rationalize some days. Sad? Maybe. But more reassuring is  that these days are very limited. These feelings will pass and be a distant memory. Until then  I can warm up I just put on another layer.