I seem to be in a perpetual pendulum. That represents my inability for time management. Or my feelings of lack of. I use to be so good at plotting my day, hour, week - and now it feels as if everything is in a pile and I just keep placing more and more on. Moving the pile around, but never actually looking into it.
This is my greatest struggle right now.
My greatest enemy? Myself. Feeling deflated when the pile sits untouched. As if I am purposefully sabotaging myself.
There is this delicate balance that one tries to achieve when they are a nester. Trying to find the time in the day for everyone, the home and yourself is your goal. At least that is what I would assume, but now the more that I live it - the more I think it may not be the case. This is perhaps my goal but I feel others don't or fall to either side of the scale. Balance is a delicate thing, yes? When I don't fall in the middle I find myself feeling guilty for worrying about me to much or holding a grudge & feeling that I ignored myself.
I understand what people mean when they imply that it is a delicate balance. Every aspect needs to be touched or approached with soft hands. Gentle, thought through, thoughts. But oh how I wish I could just wake up one morning and have it all done. That I could feel rested and calm. That the piles would not call to me from under my blanket.
Until then I pull the blanket higher. And place a pillow on my head.
This is my greatest struggle right now.
My greatest enemy? Myself. Feeling deflated when the pile sits untouched. As if I am purposefully sabotaging myself.
There is this delicate balance that one tries to achieve when they are a nester. Trying to find the time in the day for everyone, the home and yourself is your goal. At least that is what I would assume, but now the more that I live it - the more I think it may not be the case. This is perhaps my goal but I feel others don't or fall to either side of the scale. Balance is a delicate thing, yes? When I don't fall in the middle I find myself feeling guilty for worrying about me to much or holding a grudge & feeling that I ignored myself.
I understand what people mean when they imply that it is a delicate balance. Every aspect needs to be touched or approached with soft hands. Gentle, thought through, thoughts. But oh how I wish I could just wake up one morning and have it all done. That I could feel rested and calm. That the piles would not call to me from under my blanket.
Until then I pull the blanket higher. And place a pillow on my head.
No comments:
Post a Comment