Ka Chow

Recently husband and I had a conversation that has left an imprint on my mind. It went like this:

Husband : "you know why we are doing all this super cleaning/organizing/nesting right?"

Me : "Because I am pre menstrual?"

Husband : " No. Because there is so much we cannot control  in our lives right now, and this is the only thing we can"

Is this true?  Is this where we are right now? The reality being that all I currently know is Rubbermaid bins and sharpies?  Deep down, I know there is truth there. That there is a lot of flux right now in our lives, and until we can sit and be at peace or  take a jump or bite at a bit this is just where we are. Where we need to be.

There are times where I find myself thinking back about five years ago & then I chuckle. What was I doing with my time, with my life, when there was just three if us to think about. Or even when there was four. And then five. How was I not a super person. I wish I had the hindsight back then to know that all those hours would soon vanish and to actually do something.

It makes me feel lazy.

Lazy in the meaningless things. Lazy with my life.

So as I sit here, in my incredibly organized basement, I know I have to keep on wadding through it. Holding my head above the water line so I can rescue the others. I have to know that this is not a determination of what is to be but a means to get somewhere.

Descions will get made.

At this time I will make one of my own. To be back here. To use my spaces as means to keep breathing in air rather then water. To feel something, to let others in. 

To remember that there are no expectations other then pure awesomeness.