A round a bout way at getting to the point.

I know that I can be incredibly hard on myself. I have high expectations in regards to the cleanliness and organization of my home and how productive I am with my time. My family believes that this is the "crazy German cleanliness" gene inside of me.

As crazy as these daily routines are, I like them. I like living in an organized environment, I believe that having your home in order makes it easier to have your life in order. I like the feeling of coming home to a warm and clean home, I like providing that for my family. I don't find the daily tasks to be annoying, I merely accept them as life. I also like to have things in my life to keep my mind busy. When we first moved here I adopted this attitude because I felt it would be too easy to fall into a reclusive mode. I also wanted to keep my brain active to prevent the loss of intelligence. And to prevent future "mom brain".

So I exploded with creative drive - writing, doing art, reading, gardening, exercising. These things make me feel good about myself, my family and where I am. Perhaps I am not "where I imagined I would be", but I don't even know where that is. I am whole with who I am and who I am becoming.

Some people feel the need to look down on people like me. They think that some how we do not merit the same social status as them because our job is looking after the home and family. That in order to be important you need to be out in the work force "making a difference".

I feel sorry for those people. What they fail to realize is that if I am doing my job in the home correctly then I feel I am making a greater contribution to society then their 9 to 5 ever will. If I am doing what I need to be doing I am creating a warm and inviting home where those who live here feel safe and supported. Loved. That if I am taking my role as a mother seriously and following through with real parenting then perhaps my children will emerge into our society as nice people. They will be children, and eventually adults, who posses manners and respect. They will value eduction just as highly as family and they will believe 100% in themselves. If I do my job correctly they will grow into individuals without the aid of having play dates or a million and one activities controlling their lives. They will have grown up having the opportunity to play and develop strong imaginations. If I can be successful at raising these types of children I will feel far more accomplishment then any career or award or paycheck could ever give me.